Life has been pretty nutty for me since the beginning of the year. My plate has been beyond full and, truth be told, it’s pushed my buttons, brought up a lot of stuff, and made me feel raw and vulnerable. Nearly daily.
Much of the stress has been a result of initiating and completing some big projects, both at work and at home. These are good things. They’re hardly challenges such as world peace, or political conflict, or war and famine.
Yet, these experiences have given me an on-the-ground opportunity to navigate challenging times.
Being comfortable with discomfort
As I worked my way through this challenging time, I had an important insight:
Life can be difficult, and it’s OK to not be OK.
I realize this is a fairly obvious statement, and yet, let me ask you, are you OK with being NOT OK?
Because what I’ve learned about myself and have seen in my practice, is that many of us SAY we’re ok when we’re dealing with a lot of stress, but we actually are NOT ok.
We’re not lying, we’re conforming to what we’re expected to say. But truly, there’s no need.
Take a moment to sense the grace of being OK with not being OK. Notice that you can be not OK and still remain compassionate and connected to yourself.
It’s a Both-And
It may seem counterintuitive that, as a health and wellness practitioner, I’m advocating that you embrace that duality. But I am!
Let’s face it, the beginning of 2025 has felt brutal. Regardless of your views on the important issues of our day, the collective level of stress, anxiety, rage, fear, hopelessness, and confusion has been epic.
In my tiny corner of the planet, my business partner and I spent months creating and launching an online community.
I also realized it was the right time to insulate my house from top to bottom and install a heat pump.
In the process of managing both major activities, I reached maximum capacity. I was OK and I was not OK.
Derailment is temporary
The life that I normally manage with ease began to fall apart. And the old voice I’ve softened and quieted, got louder. ‘You’re not good enough. You can’t handle this.’
I watched my behaviors devolve. I binged watched Netflix for days on end, instead of going outside. My diet went to sh*t. Bursting into tears and flying off the handle was a regular occurrence. I felt safest and calmest lying on the couch wrapped in my favorite quilt.
Yet, in spite of these unsophisticated coping behaviors, I knew I was fine. I knew I’d be up and moving again, and back in my life with all its norms.
Back in the day, I used to spend a lot of time trying to control circumstances. Life had to be perfect or I was wretchedly unhappy. And if I didn’t feel happy, there was something very, very wrong. As you can imagine, since life is generally far from perfect, I had a lot of unhappy days!
I’m so grateful that I’ve done the work. I’m mostly able to stay connected to my sense of calm. I can allow the crazy and ride the waves, instead of feeling like I’m going down with the ship.
So when life goes upside down, it doesn’t mean I’m failing or I’m back where I started, it means I’m human.
Your center always remains
Things have calmed down. The Community is live and growing, my house is toasty, and using the heat pump system has become my new norm.
I’m grateful for and invested deeply in my self-care routines, and am enjoying my sense of balance.
Giving myself space during the turmoil was enormously helpful. I allowed the humorous side of the craziness to percolate and carry me along to the other side.
Life isn’t always smooth sailing – that’s part of the human condition.
May each of you meet your choppy seas with as much calm as you can muster. Remember the grace of knowing that it’s OK not to be OK, that this too shall pass away.
Binge watch Netflix, sure. And do your practices. They’ll always meet you where you are and hold space for you to find your center.
